Journey to Salvation: Part Three

Journey to Salvation Part Three

Did you miss Parts one and two? Click on the links to catch up!

http://thenarrowgateinvites.blogspot.com/2008/05/journey-to-salvation-part-one.html

http://thenarrowgateinvites.blogspot.com/2008/06/journey-to-salvation-part-two.html

So—
I was in a fog, trying to keep up with my home, my job, and my daughter’s new world of therapy…
I knew there must be a way to survive all of this, but I couldn’t find it anywhere.
I spent most of my days in depression—I was very good at making the world around me think that everything was OK, but I was falling apart on the inside.

The texture of my heart was different.
It hurt and I didn’t think it would ever heal.

So I began going to Catholic mass again, searching for some sign from God that He was real. Week after week, I was seeking after an answer for all of this pain. I sought counseling from my priest only to find out things on the surface that I already knew. I wanted some solid evidence that this pain was worth it somehow-- That my pain was for a purpose.

All this time, my husband did not go to church with me—he was not interested in learning more about a God that had allowed this to happen to his baby girl.

He was angry with God, and he didn’t know how to fix this.

Then one day he said to me, “I saw this motivational speaker on TV last night, you should look him up, and he really made a lot of sense.” He gave me the man’s name, and I was so out of it, I didn’t really give it much thought.

Then one Sunday morning, the TV was on, and my husband that had no interest in learning more about God said, “This is the man I was telling you about.”


The man was Joel Osteen.


I said to him, “Do you realize he’s talking about the Bible?”
He said, “Yes, I know, he’s very real---he makes the Bible make sense.”

I was so intrigued by the fact that this man had hit something inside my husband, and I had to hear more of him.

I watched him for a few weeks, and almost couldn’t believe what I was hearing…

Then one Sunday his message was about worry.
I thought, “Oh, this is my specialty. I know all there is to know about worry. I worry all the time; it’s one of the things that makes me a good Mom.”

Then he started talking about how God never intended for us to worry.
He quoted scripture that stated, “Do not worry about anything, pray about everything.”

I couldn’t believe that the Bible actually had those exact words in it.
I learned at a very young age that the more you loved someone, the more you worried about them.
That belief was now being tested.

I was standing in my kitchen, weeping.

At the end of his message, he invited his audience to say a simple prayer to ask Jesus into their hearts.
In the midst of my tears, I thought to myself---
“It can’t be this simple. This Truth that I had never heard of is just one prayer away?”

I had been searching for something to make my heart whole again, and I finally found it.

His name is Jesus.

Maria and her family reside in NE Ohio. She and her husband are the parents of two. Their daughter is a person with hemipelegic cerebral palsy. Because of her experiences, Maria provides parent-to-parent support for families involved in her local early intervention program. Her gift for writing has come directly from the Lord since her daughter’s diagnosis. She writes a monthly column entitled, “Special Parents, Special Kids” for the Mahoning Valley Parent magazine in Ohio; and has expanded into Parent magazines in parts of Pennsylvania and West Virginia. She is also a contributing author at www.mommiesmagazine.com. Maria is very passionate about getting the word out to special parents that they are not alone in their journey of raising their special child; and that they were chosen by God to parent their children. Maria welcomes comments and communication as well as invitations for her to speak to your group.

Lemonade Coming Full Circle

Tonight I'm in my birth state with family. It's a new tradition where each June I travel with the kids to a graduation, or two or three and give presentations on behalf of our family.

I also refer to it as lemonade time.

In 2004 my dad passed away in the midst of several other faith crushing moments. He was only sixty-four, so his loss was huge for all. A simple man by the world's standards, he was happiest tinkering with cars and watching NASCAR.

When he passed, my mom wanted to establish something in his memory that would take our grief and spin it into something good for someone else. After a lot of legwork, we created a scholarship that helps out students furthering their education in the area of auto technology or equipment.

My only job is to present the speech at the tech school graduation at the winner's school. I'm a weird one that enjoys public speaking to large groups and this is a total lemonade experience for me. I've been able to speak a blessing over a group of people who know hardship and kept pressing on anyway. I'm able to affirm someone not just willing to get their hands dirty in service work, but wanting to. I love that.

This year my family was so impressed with the winner they didn't take organized notes on him and suggested I call and interview him. I did, and half way through the interview it hit me if I don't wrap this thing up, I will burst into tears. This kid just had me.

Why?

He's a lemondade maker.

I lost my dad as an adult. He lost his dad last year. His dad was his mentor and friend. Together they tinkered with and restored cars. It would be easy to think after this death, the young man would ditch his dreams and everyone would understand.

He told me quitting was never an option for him, to do so would have dishonored his dad.

This student plans on getting his degree so he can return to his rural hometown and work in a shop on cars. He wants to give back and help others.

Tonight I give a speech and hand him a piece of paper.

It's lemonade coming full circle.

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. Starting summer 2008, Julie will be a monthly columnist on surrender over at http://www.takerootandwrite.com/.

To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at:http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

But So Does Righteousness

For years I have wanted a water fountain of sorts. I've seen them all---the garden variety with barrels of water flowing from one to another. The inside kind with faux waterfalls, the indoor outdoor design where one cup tips water to another. I wished for one, only to be told it would probably not happen. Why? Apparently males and running water gives them the instinct to run for the bathroom. I gave up the dream.

My mom was in town and I saw one for under $20. She insisted on buying one, even with her grandson explaining the consequences. After one run to the bathroom he announced himself cured, so I was even more excited to possess this gift.

A few days later I realized this was more than a gift, it was a message played out. Last month I received a precious word from God about the last few years. The picture He gave is of the water parks where the water fills and fills and then the bucket dumps. He explained that this is how sin works. When there is sin, it runs off and affects everyone.

But so does righteousness.

The last few years have been plagued by health issues, financial surprises (not the fun kind) and battles that I questioned if I could survive to see the end of them. I can't even tell you how many nights I cried asking for a revelation, a why, or something to encourage me in that season.

That day, He showed me that these past years have been like those buckets of water, except mine was preparing me. Instead of water, I was to imagine molasses or something sweet filling up. For what I learn and pass on from that time, spreads. It's His righteousness that will affect others. The encouragement for me was not just that, not just that the molasses is a sweet picture, but it's a slow pour. These last years were easier to reflect on with that vision.

Having this gift gives me constant reminders that every frustration, set back, delay, trial, sickness, loss and whatever else we've dealt with as a family really works for good. His good. I can literally watch my cup runneth over. As that water flows I know every second of my tears will spill over and help someone else. His kingdom will benefit.

What hard time are you going through? Perhaps you are on the receiving end of someone else's sin. Turn that water into molasses in your mind. Let YOUR cup run over with righteousness, forgiveness, mercy and love.

And flow in that peace that comes from an indoor water fountain.

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. Starting summer 2008, Julie will be a monthly columnist on surrender over at http://www.takerootandwrite.com/.

To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at:
http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

Party Time

I'm having a party tonight and no one has showed up except me. Even my husband who tried to give me words of encouragement declined my invitation by saying, "You need to snap out of this!" and went up to bed. My party is a pity party . . . all about me, me, me.

I know I should be diving into the Word, on my knees in prayer, or listening to music and worshipping right now but all I really want to do is cry and so I am. It has been a long couple of weeks, okay, it has been a long year and I just feel like crying.

This past year began with the pruning process, followed by a 'time in the desert,' then a time of renewal and growth. It has been a year filled with discomfort, change, uncertainty, and a true test of patience. There are moments, like these, when I feel like I can barely hang on one more day and then I think of Job.

Job. How did he do it? Everything He loved was taken from Him and yet he continued to worship the Lord. The past few weeks I feel like I am being attacked from all sides and all I want to cry out is, "God show me that you are real!" And then I think of Job. If Job can do it so can I! I don't remember reading anything about Job's late night pity party either:)
Job . . . wow, what a guy!


Well after typing Job's name so many times I think it is time I bring my party to a close. He has humbled me once again. Just a few tissues to clean up and then up to bed.

Goodnight, Kim

Journey to Salvation: Part Two

Did you miss Part One? Catch up with the link below:

http://thenarrowgateinvites.blogspot.com/2008/05/journey-to-salvation-part-one.html

Journey to Salvation Part Two

So, as my husband and I were all of a sudden swept into an emotional roller coaster, we didn’t know how to function….
Our Olivia spent the next ten days in a pediatric ICU, with many moments of uncertainty for her future.
Still, I had no point of reference of even how to begin to cry out to God for help.
I almost felt guilty trying to speak to Him, since I never really had before.

She came home on anti-seizure medication, because once she came off of the ventilator, she began having seizures. Her brain was responding to the trauma that it endured from the period of time it was without oxygen.

There we were, in the midst of what I call “survival mode.” We were trying to learn and understand how to go about our lives, and take care of her and her big brother in the meantime.

The physicians reassured us that she would be ok long term, and her brain was without oxygen for an ‘insignificant’ period of time.
In between staring at her sleeping, and hovering over her constantly in my state of constant worry; I realized over the months that followed her discharge that her left hand was always fisted. Her pediatrician dismissed my worries, and insisted I was being overly cautious.
Then, by the time she was 8 months old, I demanded we get an occupational therapy evaluation; as it’s main focus is fine motor/hand skills.
The energy that allowed my husband and I to function during these months came from adrenaline, and our love for her. We wanted to be angry that this had happened, but we didn’t have time—we had to keep moving.
Then, during a routine visit with her neurologist, he said the words that I can still hear so very clearly, “We don’t know how long her brain was without oxygen, so I am going to write down in her chart that she has cerebral palsy; for insurance purposes.”

“Cerebral Palsy?” I said. “How does one get cerebral palsy?” My head was spinning.

I know driving home from this appointment, through my tear-soaked face I thought, “I don’t know how to do this. I can’t take care of a physically disabled child. God, please help me.”

Our days became filled with more therapy and doctor appointments, and I fell into a depression, because all I could do was live in fear for her future. I couldn’t see how anything positive could come from this. I spent most days focusing on her limitations, rather than her strengths.
I was now a mother of a child with cerebral palsy—and I was spiraling in a downward motion; not knowing where I was going to land.

I was raised Catholic, so I began going to church again—week after week, I was searching for God.
I thought daily, “Where is He? Who is He? Does He even hear me? I need some kind of hope, or I am literally going to have a nervous breakdown….”

Maria and her family reside in NE Ohio. She and her husband are the parents of two. Their daughter is a person with hemipelegic cerebral palsy. Because of her experiences, Maria provides parent-to-parent support for families involved in her local early intervention program. Her gift for writing has come directly from the Lord since her daughter’s diagnosis. She writes a monthly column entitled, “Special Parents, Special Kids” for the Mahoning Valley Parent magazine in Ohio; and has expanded into Parent magazines in parts of Pennsylvania and West Virginia. She is also a contributing author at www.mommiesmagazine.com. Maria is very passionate about getting the word out to special parents that they are not alone in their journey of raising their special child; and that they were chosen by God to parent their children. Maria welcomes comments and communication as well as invitations for her to speak to your group.

Happy Belated Maria!

Kim wrote such an excellent post about how she met Maria and the impact Maria has on her life. I know envy is not good, but my heart soars when I'm able to visit either Narrow Gate girl because how awesome is it that two neighbors could be such great friends. In a world that isolates itself more and more each day, Kim and Maria are a breath of fresh air. I'm truly blessed to know them both.

Although I'm late getting this birthday post out, I too get so much from Maria. I married Italian and I have Italian family. I had a brother type friend in college who I am sure God sent to prepare me for my husband as this guy was 200% Italian and into computers. With that background, you'd think I could handle Italian conversation.

It was Maria who during one of our visits with all our children together had to tell me,

"Julie, do you think we're all yelling at each other? That's just the Italian in us. I'm talking. That's not yelling."

She nailed it. I had no idea but my stomach was tense---my reaction from childhood when I visited my family. I always thought they were yelling! Maria gave me peace in the chaos, ha ha.

Maria also gives it straight with love and she has a heart for people, especially special needs family. I'll never forget when she delivered a speech for the local Mothers of Preschoolers chapter on how to communicate with special needs families. So many of these moms had no background in special needs and Maria led them through on what families need to hear, and what they do not.

At that time our own family was dealing with bit of a special needs situation and her sharing gave me one solid reaction---I bawled. Bawled because she knew I'd been through a horrendous public experience with a stranger who had no clue. Bawled because she deals with that either personally or professionally every single day. Bawled because she had the answers, cloaked in compassion.

I personally can't wait for Maria to share more of her story before I blab it. Everytime I think about her surrender hesitation and God's reaction, I grin.

Maria, you give hope, love, and so much laughter. And you love cheese fries. You rock girlfriend.

Happy belated Birthday!

It's Always A Good Thing when It's a God Thing

This is the second time in recent weeks where we have blogged without the other Narrow Gate Invite Girls knowing what we'd blog about. Did anyone else notice last week that Kim's post and mine were similar? The week before all three of us wrote on unbelief? God is good.

I promised after sharing my frustration of sickness and discouragement after surrendering that I would update you on what it is that might possibly, no wait, definitely has the defeated one shaking. Again, not because I'm all that, but the One I serve is and I'm ready to be a vessel for Him to use.

http://www.takerootandwrite.com/

Noelle Mena contacted me through http://www.godlinked.com/ and invited me to check out her site. Take Root and Write is all about encouraging women. Noelle's vision is to gather a Christian team of women writers who come together and share insights, thoughts, and encouragement through categories and columns. Noelle has the huge task of keeping all the writers on the "same page" and I'm certain she is up to the task. How do I know? I believe God is ordering her steps as much as the writers.

I prayed about what I should do and what I find funny is for someone with a heart for surrender, for someone with a blog called http://www.thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/, I really sought God for days on what topic would He like me to share.

He came back loud and clear.

Surrender.

An open house is coming soon and I strongly encourage you to check it out. I know there are going to be multiple writers with various columns and topics. A dear reader friend here, Jennifer@Zephaniah Way, wrote here in a post called, "Huh?" http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Zephaniahway/#c932849 about her topic. I love it. I don't think any of us can put a number to the faces of women who are married but either between military assignments or career choice (Jennifer's husband has a career where he is gone more than home), they are more like single moms. It is a lonely, hard job with very little thanks.

I think agreeing to be part of this ministry is partly why I immediately got sick with the very same affliction when I started writing for Him in the first place. This summer I'll be part of a team effort that I believe will challenge me in every possible way but the overall theme is pointing people to a surrendered life. God has such a plan, such a love for us, and we've lived in darkness and pain for far too long. Ministries like these are going to be like keys to set us all free. I know from both Kim and Maria that plans in their horizon are just as kingdom minded and with an endless harvest.

Is God calling you to step out? Is there something stirring in your heart that you wonder, is this for me? Pray, seek and expect God to answer. Just know when He does, you won't be the same.

It's a good thing.

Even on those sick days where you want to wave a white flag of surrender.

It's always a good thing when it's a God thing.

Surrender today, the Narrow Gate Girls are right with you!

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09.
To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at:

http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20
To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

Happy Birthday Maria

Today is Maria's birthday . . . Happy Birthday Sista!

Maria and I have known each other for many years. We are backyard neighbors and just within the past 2 years we became close friends. Our children have played together since they were in preschool but at the time their friendship started both of us were in our own worlds, our own 'funk,' . . . lost, unsaved, and wandering around searching for a greater meaning and purpose to this thing we call life.

A few years ago, when Maria's son was having a birthday party, my daughter graciously invited our family to the party. A party at Maria's is like being in the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the Italian version. Of course, Maria insisted we come and little did I know that day would change the rest of my life. Maria and her husband had just returned home from a trip to New York City. I began asking her about her trip while we were there. She told me they went to see Joel Osteen. Hmmm . . . I had no idea who she was talking about. At the party she showed me his book and I sat on the couch and leafed through the pages. She sensed my interest and the next morning she showed up at my door with a set of CD's. She was a little nervous handing them to me. I think she thought I would think she was 'crazy.' On that particular day I had to drive to Cleveland so I listend to them on the way. I was sobbing! And sobbing! And sobbing the whole way there and back! It was the first time someone told me that God loves me unconditionally. It was the first time that someone told me that God created me to be me, not what and who everyone else wanted me to be. And it was the first time that someone told me that God created me with a plan and a purpose in mind. I was loved, created by the master designer, and I had a purpose! And so I the journey out of my 'funk' catapulted to a new level and God gave me an amazing friend to walk with!

So today I thank the Lord for Maria! She is an amazing friend, sista, confidant, worshipper, mother, and wife. She is also a gifted writer and singer. Her voice can light up a room!!! We are still waiting to hear some of those songs she is keeping all to herself. She is honest and to the point, always knowing the right time to offer words of encouragment or an 'italian' jolt back into reality for me.

Today's your day Maria . . . enjoy!!!

Kim