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I was in a fog, trying to keep up with my home, my job, and my daughter’s new world of therapy…
I knew there must be a way to survive all of this, but I couldn’t find it anywhere.
I spent most of my days in depression—I was very good at making the world around me think that everything was OK, but I was falling apart on the inside.
The texture of my heart was different.
It hurt and I didn’t think it would ever heal.
So I began going to Catholic mass again, searching for some sign from God that He was real. Week after week, I was seeking after an answer for all of this pain. I sought counseling from my priest only to find out things on the surface that I already knew. I wanted some solid evidence that this pain was worth it somehow-- That my pain was for a purpose.
All this time, my husband did not go to church with me—he was not interested in learning more about a God that had allowed this to happen to his baby girl.
He was angry with God, and he didn’t know how to fix this.
Then one day he said to me, “I saw this motivational speaker on TV last night, you should look him up, and he really made a lot of sense.” He gave me the man’s name, and I was so out of it, I didn’t really give it much thought.
Then one Sunday morning, the TV was on, and my husband that had no interest in learning more about God said, “This is the man I was telling you about.”
The man was Joel Osteen.
I said to him, “Do you realize he’s talking about the Bible?”
He said, “Yes, I know, he’s very real---he makes the Bible make sense.”
I was so intrigued by the fact that this man had hit something inside my husband, and I had to hear more of him.
I watched him for a few weeks, and almost couldn’t believe what I was hearing…
Then one Sunday his message was about worry.
I thought, “Oh, this is my specialty. I know all there is to know about worry. I worry all the time; it’s one of the things that makes me a good Mom.”
Then he started talking about how God never intended for us to worry.
He quoted scripture that stated, “Do not worry about anything, pray about everything.”
I couldn’t believe that the Bible actually had those exact words in it.
I learned at a very young age that the more you loved someone, the more you worried about them.
That belief was now being tested.
I was standing in my kitchen, weeping.
At the end of his message, he invited his audience to say a simple prayer to ask Jesus into their hearts.
In the midst of my tears, I thought to myself---
“It can’t be this simple. This Truth that I had never heard of is just one prayer away?”
I had been searching for something to make my heart whole again, and I finally found it.
His name is Jesus.
Maria and her family reside in NE Ohio. She and her husband are the parents of two. Their daughter is a person with hemipelegic cerebral palsy. Because of her experiences, Maria provides parent-to-parent support for families involved in her local early intervention program. Her gift for writing has come directly from the Lord since her daughter’s diagnosis. She writes a monthly column entitled, “Special Parents, Special Kids” for the Mahoning Valley Parent magazine in Ohio; and has expanded into Parent magazines in parts of Pennsylvania and West Virginia. She is also a contributing author at www.mommiesmagazine.com. Maria is very passionate about getting the word out to special parents that they are not alone in their journey of raising their special child; and that they were chosen by God to parent their children. Maria welcomes comments and communication as well as invitations for her to speak to your group.