Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Truth that Took My Breath Away

As I shared in my last post, we Narrow Gate Girls goof up but relish in the fact that these are stepping stones to draw closer in our relationship with Christ. For years I used to think that the tiniest slip (which is daily for me) would make the Lord cross His arms defiantly and say "That's IT! I'm so done with her." We all, you included, are so loved by Him, even on our worst day.

As promised, I will share another revelation on one of my not very good days.

I was in a corporate prayer situation where we were addressing a negative influence that was identified as the spirit of l*st, something I believe exists (add an 'u' to learn the word, I'm trying to avoid bad spam). However if you had asked me to define that I would have thought of an unfaithful spouse or a construction worker whistling at every skirt that walks by.

As the prayer continued, I felt, I kid you not, a sensation deep inside my body leave. I've seen services and prayer times where people lose their balance, bend their knees or things close to those responses when the Holy Spirit is moving and/or an evil spirit has been sent packing. This may sound very movie like and it's powerful, but not as dramatic as you may think. Anyway as the prayer wrapped up I couldn't help but ask, what was that I felt?

I explained the "whoosh" feeling that left me from like deep in my chest out. The thing is, I went on to say, I'm not someone that you would point as someone craning my neck to check out people or make immature comments.

I was asked in return, am I person, though, that resents people who look good and covet what they have in their own physical health? In a rush, I could see myself in a montage of moments that absolutely depicted the answer to the question. In a nutshell, this would be me:

I would be working out, in a locker room, at a park, in a pool and would see someone of the same gender who is a size 8 or less, age 30 or less, tan and INSTANTLY in my head this is what I would think:

'What are you doing here? Go bounce on a beach somewhere.'

'Oh leave already and save the equipment for people like me that truly need it.'

'Please, who is that perky this early in the morning. Be quiet already.'

That I learned is the spirit of l*st just as much as the stereotyped construction worker whistling at the ladies. This revelation took my breath away.

I had two choices with this truth: I could wallow in shame or see it for what it is, who truly resides in me, and take my thoughts to Christ. Since that prayer time I've run across a few scenarios where I started to criticize the outwardly looking perfect looking person before me in my thoughts and I stop and say to myself, that's done. I try to pray instead that her inside would match her outside. That she knows Him.

And knows He loves her as is.

Just as He feels about me---and you!

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger and is the Forum's book club facilitator. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at:

To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

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