Tuesday, May 13, 2008

So Not Sanctified

Years ago I was involved in a conversation between two Christian women who were approaching a milestone birthday. They announced they felt by the time they approached that age, they would be sanctified. Back then I was intimidated by that comment because I viewed a sanctification as a holiness where angels sing and harps play.

Although I don't view things quite as perfect as that, the closer I get to that milestone I can attest, I will never this side of heaven be sanctified. It will always be a present process of striving for holiness. Just like an alcoholic that stops drinking they will say they are recovering, not recovered. It's always a current condition for them.

Last week I had the pleasure of escaping to dinner with Kim. I very rarely pick up a phone and ask for a night out because I talk myself out of such things thinking that person has better things to do. I'm so glad I called. Turns out Kim and I have much in common---the good, the bad, and as I'll post today---the ugly. My guess is Maria is the same, we just missed being able to hang with her too.

We said when we started this blog that we were going to blog about the deeper things of faith---our experiences, revelations, mistakes, fears...well we want to make sure we share our mistakes. The second you think we have our walk in Christ down perfectly, well, picture me tripping on that walk. A lot. And falling. And somedays, not even able to get up.

So this week I'm going to share my mistakes, my out and out rebelliousness that wasn't 10 years ago, but I'm sad to admit, as recent as last week. Next week to balance it out I'll try to share the growth God has given me. Again, not that I achieved perfection in any way, but as Joyce Meyer puts it, I'm not where I used to be. But sanctified? Oh no...

Case in point---

I tend to get very carnal, fleshy and just nasty under the following conditions: blocked goals, feeling inferior, too tired and hungry. Last week I was in a situation that I won't get specific about because I'm not sure if those that were there are reading this and honestly, my intent was wrong and I'm not sure my intent really came off as a bad deed. It could have looked like an accident but I truly know it wasn't. The issue is mine to deal with.

But imagine you are in a group setting with me and someone comes up to me and tells me with what I perceive as an air of authority that I am doing something wrong. I smile sweetly and give a pat and truthful answer, but on the inside I'm seething. Remember, I get fleshy when I feel against a wall. So when that same person walks by, I stick my leg out in hopes of tripping them. Not to hurt the person, but to make them feel as small as they made me feel.

Maybe that person never tripped but still, my intent was pure rebellion and as far from holy and sanctification as you can get.

There you have it. No angels play harps in my presence. No one stops in their tracks and says wow, that Julie, she is the epitome of perfection.

But hopefully, hopefully someone looks at me and realizes she goofs up, she sins, she doesn't get it a lot of the time. But she loves the Lord and He accepts her in His presence, especially unsanctified.

Just like you.

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger and is the Forum's book club facilitator. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at: http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20

To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

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