28 Days or So

It's official. I'm a candidate for a total hysterctomy and will have the surgery before Thanksgiving. If you're new to this blog it might seem weird that I would be so excited. I'm not yet 40 and this is a decision I did not take lightly, nor did my doctor.

For over 13 years I've had various aspects of polycystic ovaries. Once told having children might prove impossible, I was blessed years ago with a surgery that not only gave me a decade of being pain free, but we have two children.

Two years ago the physical symptoms returned (as my surgeon at the time warned me, in fact the pain came back later than he predicted) and with it, all the symptoms of menopause but the permanant pause on those monthly things. Sorry men readers.

This threw me into a tizzy. When I didn't feel well, I'd run upstairs and hide because I didn't even understand what was going on, how would anyone else? It reached the point where I was hiding more than anything. Hungry all the time. Headaches. Sleeplessness. Anxiety. Weight gain. Crying, no wait, sobbing for hours on end for no good reason. Exhausted. Pelvic pressure.
There was temporary relief for 6 months this year when I was given monthly injections in the stomach. They numbed me so well I didn't feel a thing so I was devastated when I learned I no longer could have the injection. Apparently long term use leads to bone loss. I was so desperate I was willing to take the risk.

My doctor wasn't. He tried one more thing, the new pill called Lybel that stops your cycle just as the injection did. The thing is, the side effects are bleeding and cramping which again, sorry men, is exactly what a monthly is. So I had all the above symptoms plus those side effects, dizziness and at times, a faster heart rate. When I burst into tears on the phone with my husband, then exclaimed I wish I were dead, and then let him know I never meant for our vows to take on all the negatives (poorer, sicker...) I knew I wasn't being dramatic. I knew I was quickly hitting rock bottom. My husband as gently as he could---agreed big time!

So here I am. The doctor needed no convincing at all. The injections I did so well with most closely represent how my body would respond to the surgery. Yes it will throw my body into instand menopause but I'm not sure how different that could be than what I have going on. Yes, I'm late to church because I have to change clothes because I broke out into a huge hot flash---twice!

I'm hoping here you aren't going to notice when the surgery is or when I'm in recovery. During that time I'll be doing the NaBloPoMo event where I blog for 30 days over at http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. I plan to do this by using guest writers (ahem, YOU) who will write why they are thankful. So far I have received submissions that are amazing poems, stories, articles, and even a sentence. It's all good. These folks also included a bio and optional picture and sent it all off to me at jarduini@faithwriters.net.

There are about 13 slots left I think, first come, first serve. If you are swamped but want to participate, I so understand. Perhaps you can direct me to a FaithWriter work you did in the past that resounds of thankfulness? Give it some thought, I'd love to have everyone represented.

So that's my story. I'll take your prayers, though honestly, I'm awake more at night praying for the election than the surgery. I will have family help while recovering, and that gives me great peace. I am vain enough my biggest worry is how on Earth will I shower, I hear you don't until you go back home. Taking a shower is like having a morning coffee. I NEED a shower. So you can see how vain I'm being.

Now, your story. What are you thankful for? I'm waiting for your submission! Thanks for reading!

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, The Surrendered Scribe. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she also blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. One of the books will be a quote in Kathy Vick's Simon and Schuster/Howard's gift book, "Run Like a Girl."You can also find Julie the third Wednesday of each month over at Take Root and Writewith her columns, Finding Freedom through Surrender and Marriage: Striving for Oneness. She facilitates groups by the same name at the sister social networking site, Christian Women Take Root.