Friday, August 22, 2008

Sit Still

Sit still . . . words we ask of our children all the time. Sit still at the dinner table, sit still at your desk, sit still in the physician's waiting room, . . . sit still. When we ask we expect obedience. Yet when He asks what do we do?

Sit still.

Still.

Do not go and fold that basket of clothes. Do not answer the phone that keeps ringing. Do not get in the car and take care of your errand list. Do not sweep the dust bunnies that you can now see hopping under the couch. Do not keep thinking about all the things that you have to do, sit still.

Why is it so hard?

Confession time. This week I realized why it is so hard for me. I am afraid that I am not going to like what God has to say so it is easier to stay busy, make excuses, and hide from Him. Flesh in full force!

I fear that He may lead me into a different direction, one I may not like, want, or understand. Or He may ask me to do something I really do not want to do. Or He may want me to just rest and be still. I like being busy. Or He may ask me to wait . . . and I really do not like waiting. And the biggie, He may (He will) ask me to trust Him and that means I have no control.

Psalm 46:10 says, ""Be still, and know that I am God."

Be still.

This week, after months of trying to do things my way and feeling frustrated, abandoned, and disappointed, I surrendered. One morning when all was still quiet I sat in my family room with Him. I sat still. The first moments were very uncomfortable. But I continued to sit still and think about Him. I talked, He listened. Then I stayed quiet and soon I began to feel at peace. The rest of the day I tried to stay in that peace. I did not make any phone calls, I kept to myself, and I sat outside while my children played and tried to keep my mind clear. And in the stillness came revelation. Revelation that He needs me still to talk to me, to help me grow, and to ground me in His word. I realized things such as, How can I expect to go out and do, do, do when I do not really understand who He is? How can I expect to know and understand Him when I am not reading scripture? How can I share His love when I am unwilling to open myself up and let His love in? And how can I really expect Him to fully move in my life when I do not fully trust Him?

Trust Him. Big revelation. Not a little trust, not a some of the time trust, not as a last resort trust. Trust Him. Fully and completely. Trust Him. I really need to work on this one!

Stillness.

Be still and know that He is God.

Blessings, Kim

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