Anticipation

Today is going to be a big day. I am waiting with high expectations. It is 8/8/08.

In June I had a dream and I saw the numbers 8/8. We were away from home at the time so when we returned I drew a heart around the 8th of August on our calendar and wrote 'God's Plan Revealed.' I had no idea what the date meant but I had high expectations of something big. A few weeks later I was on the web site of Morningstar Ministries, located in Fort Mill, NC and clicked on the forty day fast video by Rick Joyner. He spoke of a prophetic dream that Bonnie Jones, wife of Bob Jones, had. In the dream she was given a key that had 341 on it. Then she was told that is would be "40 days to the Joseph Company, August 8, 2008. (For more information and explantion please go to morningstarministries.org)

I had 'goose bumps' and almost fell off my chair. My first thought, 'Could God be revealing something to me too? Followed by, 'Nope. Not me. Not the doubter, the sinner, the swayer, the one with all the questions, and recently the one who had to confess that for several weeks I was angry and disappointed with God and that I had been avoiding Him, reading scripture, my prayer time and really questioning His existence. ' What a fool am I!

Well weeks passed, I waited with anticipation for August to come, and then disappointment came upon me through a personal family situation. And then more disappointment came, again. I told my husband if he said the word 'delay' one more time I was going to loss it. And with disappointment came doubt, not prayer, seeking God, or an increase in faith, but doubt. I was angry with God but I would not admit it. Instead I pushed it aside and let doubt abide. Then this past Wednesday came, it was time for small group. With tears in my eyes that evening, I confessed my doubts and layed them on the table for all to see. In many ways I did not even realize they were there until I said them. It was as though I had been running from them, 'keeping myself busy,' so that I did not have to feel the disappointment in my heart. Our facilitator asked me many questions, offered words of encouragment, and challenged me to seek Him and get back into my bible. On the ride home I felt challenged and the next morning I confessed my feelings to God and returned to His word. I felt like a lost child returning home.

Deuteronomy 31:8 says, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

In all my doubting, wandering, questioning, and pouting He still remains right here. Beside me, in front of me, and all around me. Thank you Jesus for the gift of forgiveness!

And so today I sit with Him and anticipate the day. At 5:30 god tv will be airing the service at Morningstar this evening. You can also webstream it live through morningstarministries. com

Come and anticipate with me, Kim