Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Like it Bold

If you knew me growing up, I might have across as confident, but it was the furthest thing from the truth. I had a lot of self esteem issues and unresolved anger. It's my faith, time, and a whole lotta tears that have transformed me from the inside out.

I realized that in the past year, bold is a new part of my identity. My sister remarked that my coffee smells so bold it stings her nose when she walked into my kitchen. It's true. I'm someone who never drank coffee before. I switched off of espresso to Italian Roast because the espresso wasn't bold enough. Tea? That's just dark water to me (sorry my tea friends).

Even my wardrobe is bold. I've never been a small frame girl and a year after surgery, my body type is I think an apple and a pear. It's not pretty and yet I've never felt better in and out. God performed surgery on more than my girl parts, He changed my heart. I get, totally get, that I'm His favorite. Don't get me wrong, I totally get YOU are HIS favorite too. I'll spend my waking moments encouraging you with this truth. As I walk with this extra weight, different body and freedom of identity, my colors are bold. I wear deep purples, blues, corals. For the first time, I want people to look at me. Not because I'm covergirl material, but because I'm feeling bold. I want you to see Him when you look at me, and I'm bold enough to hopefully get your attention.

My actions are a lot bolder. I've always wanted to help people or let them know the nice things I think but for decades wouldn't for fear that you would be too busy to deal with me, or I'd be bothering you. No more! If I'm in your way I'm believing you'll let me know. If I feel moved to do something it's with what I have and am. I'm not Paula Deen nor am I Martha Stewart. I cook and bake simple and my accessories probably mismatch. But I'm done sitting in the shadows wishing I could do more.

I'm bold---believing, offering, living and dreaming.

How about you?

(This originally appeared in a group message over on the Facebook group: Julie Arduini: The Surrendered Scribe

Julie Arduini is a writer and public speaker residing in NE Ohio with her husband and two children. Her heart is to encourage readers to find freedom through surrender. She knows that has to start with her, so she's surrendering the good, the bad, and maybe one day, the chocolate. She'd love if you bookmarked her website and signed her blog guest book at She also went all techie and created a gadget you can use on your iGoogle page. Feel free to add it and tell others---be bold!

photo courtesy photobucket

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