The Wrestling Match

Ephesians 6:12, WOW!

It has been one of those weeks! I write to you a day late due to colds and viruses that have been attacking my family. I will confess that my patience level is at an all time low as it feels like someone is standing on my chest. I have also been struggling with some relationship challenges outside of my immediate family. And so I wonder . . . what is this all about? Allergy season? Just a virus? A coincidence? Or do we dare go there . . . could it be a battle in the spiritual realm? There I said it . . . the spiritual realm! Don't click the close box yet!

The spiritual realm . . . it sounds so 'out there' and honestly, quite scary. Are there really battles going on that we cannot see? Do angels and demons really exist? I know one thing, mention the word angel and everyone smiles. Say the word demon or demonic spirit and you are sure to clear out the room.

Ephesian 6:12 tells us, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

So . . . I cannot help but wonder if the illness striking my family is 'just a virus' or is there is a battle going on. Science tells me one thing, my gut tells me another. Is it a coincidence that we have been praying and waiting and waiting and waiting for a specific dream to come to pass and we are only a few weeks away from a knowing if it will? Is it a coincidence that I just sent out letters to six Godly women asking them to consider a mission trip to Romania in the fall? Is it a coincidence that my husband who rarely gets sick woke up in the night with his throat throbbing and consticting for hours saying, "I have never felt like this before?" Again, just wondering.

As I lay my head down tonight I will pray for healing and peace for my family. And yes, I will include a few words coming against the 'powers of darkness' but my main focus will be where it should be . . . on Him, my healer, my friend, and the one who saves us all, Jesus.

Be Blessed, Kim

(We love hearing from you so send us a comment, share a story, or a thought anytime.)

I'm Still Standing

Last year I made a covenant (a contract between me and God that He takes seriously, just like marriage) with the Lord that I would no longer let fear stand in the way of writing. I always knew I was not the best writer out there, but as the years passed, the stirring of the pen would not stop.

Before I had a blog I had all these ideas that I wanted to write about. To this day I have characters running around in my head just begging to be let out in a story (don't worry, this is normal, so other writers tell me).

As soon as I started my personal blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/, I got sick. I'd been through times of near bed confinement due to the pain of polycystic ovaries, but this was different. It was an 8 week sinus infection that I could not get rid of. During this time I also had bronchitis and mild asthma. Not long after I got feeling better with all that, my hormones took a dive and I spun around hormonally with perimenopause.

I list these medical issues because of this---I don't think any of it was an accident. As soon as I started to surrender fear, it made a kingdom difference. It also, I believe, shook the gates of hell. Not because I'm somebody, but because Christ is and He has work to do and finally, I'm a willing vessel for Him to use. Even if my writing reached one person, it was still more than it was reaching before because I wasn't writing at all. So the scared terrorist defeated one that the devil is, he hurled everything he could with his bag of tricks.

I'm not musical, but I'm a music person. Recently here I shared the song from Barnyard, Sam Elliott's I Won't Back Down. That song literally kept me going because I promised. I PROMISED to write for the Lord. I really take those commitments seriously. The second song I think of is of all things, Elton John's I'm Still Standing.

"And did you think this fool could never win

Well look at me, I'm coming back again

I got a taste of love in a simple way

And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind"

Music by Elton JohnLyrics by Bernie Taupin

Available on the album Too Low For Zero

http://www.eltonography.com/songs/im_still_standing.html

Yes, I'm a child of the 70's and 80's and I'm pretty sure when these entertainers collaborated, warfare issues between Christ and the devil weren't on their minds. Yet as I write, this is the song He gives me to share.

I made another recent commitment to write for the Lord. It is something that I'm excited about and I believe is going to be huge in His kingdom to encourage women. The founder of this ministry invited me to join on and challenged me to find a single purpose to share with others through the site. After praying for days, I know He wants me to write on this:

Surrender.

Guess what happened within days of confirming this direction?

I got sick.

With a sinus infection.

Guess what?

I'm still standing.

I'll write more on the writing opportunity next week!

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09.

To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at:

http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20

To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

Holding On

Well, once again I am going back on my promise…

I started a series of blogs last week that outline my salvation experience. I will continue them next week, I promise…again…

The words that the Lord has put on my heart this week take precedence, I hope you’ll agree—
I didn’t read Kim and Julie’s entries from last week until the other day.

When I read Julie’s “Do you trust Him now?”, my heart began to pound out of my chest. I thought, “She has days of unbelief, too?” Right in front of my eyes, she was reading my mind….

And Kim was reading deep into my heart with her “Help Me In My Unbelief!” words.
We were all having the same kind of days, and we hadn’t shared our thoughts with one another.
I was feeling so very weary and tired; I didn’t know where God was or how I was going to begin to look for Him again.

It was not a coincidence that we were all feeling the same way all week…
When you know God, there are no coincidences.
As usual, He was teaching us through our doubt and weariness.
He set this all up.
It’s part of His plan.

He knew we would all be writing together at this time, and we would stumble on the fact that we all waver from our trust and belief in Him.
And He knew you would be reading this, right on time.
His time.

As Kim and I spoke on the phone about how we were all feeling the same way, the lyrics of Shawn McDonald’s song “Hold On” were resounding in my soul…

Another day gone by
And again I ask myself the questions why
I question my sanity
And why I believe what I believe
Some might think that I’m crazy
For believing in something I cannot see
Deep deep down I know
Yes I know you are for real

So won’t you now, hold on to me?
Hold on
Hold on to me
Please don’t let me go-no no
Cause I am prone to wander
Prone to leave this faith I know-
Hold on Hold on Hold on to me
Hold on

And I realized that He is holding on to us. He never let go. He never said we wouldn’t get weary or tired or doubt….
He never said this was going to be easy,
But I know He doesn’t want us to make it so hard.

He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt 11:28.)

He also said…
“I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea, and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”(Matt 21:21)

He knew we would get weary.
He knew we would have burdens.
Believe.
Have faith.
Do not doubt.
Rest in Him.

Pray.

I can only speak for myself when I say I definitely do not spend enough time in prayer and asking the Lord for my needs.

As a wife and mother, I am very good at petitioning the Lord for my husband and my children, but when it comes to my needs and desires, I most often put them aside.

As women, we know we must take care of ourselves in order to take care of our families, so we must take time to put words to our wants and desires, as well as our fears and pains.
And give them all to Him.

My challenge for all of us is this—
The next time we realize we are in a state of unbelief, without hesitation, before the weariness sets in,
We must go to Him in prayer, and be confident that He’s holding on.

Maria and her family reside in NE Ohio. She and her husband are the parents of two. Their daughter is a person with hemipelegic cerebral palsy. Because of her experiences, Maria provides parent-to-parent support for families involved in her local early intervention program. Her gift for writing has come directly from the Lord since her daughter’s diagnosis. She writes a monthly column entitled, “Special Parents, Special Kids” for the Mahoning Valley Parent magazine in Ohio; and has expanded into Parent magazines in parts of Pennsylvania and West Virginia. She is also a contributing author at www.mommiesmagazine.com. Maria is very passionate about getting the word out to special parents that they are not alone in their journey of raising their special child; and that they were chosen by God to parent their children. Maria welcomes comments and communication as well as invitations for her to speak to your group.

What a Friend!

Although my sinuses are rebelling from weather changes and lack of taking better care of myself, I just finished an amazing weekend with my best friend.

Kim and Maria are great friends that I confide so much in, learn from, and boy do we laugh. What sets my other friend apart and categorizes her as a best friend is this:

Time.

When I introduce her, people actually say "oooh and ahhh" when I announce we have been friends since kindergarten. She let the adult Sunday School class know our ages, so I can assure you, kindergarten was quite a long time ago. Our friendship has seen ups and downs and even a time of rebellion on my part when I wanted nothing to do with the Christian faith she kept talking about. I'm grateful for her obedience because without her following through on the Holy Spirit's nudge, I don't even want to think about where I'd be.

Trust.

Because I've known her longer than anyone else besides my sister and mom, we have a trust. She has seen me through everything. Although my husband is my closest confidante, there are things she knows about my life. I don't think I have skeltons in the closet but she saw first hand some of the pain I had growing up, just as I did with her. She was a catalyst God used to help me start the healing process after a miscarriage. I can share anything with her and I know she's got my back, and vice versa.

Truth in Love

Unfortunately those closest to you aren't always able to say what they are thinking and have it be received well. I don't know how to explain it but my friend can say the same exact thing and I'll receive it, when a family member could have said it ten times before and I just don't get it. She speaks the truth in love, usually in a sandwich way of knowing I need affirmation, but questioning the situation out until I come up with the answer on my own. I tend to be more blunt with her, I think, but she trusts me as a voice God would use to further her walk in Him.

I share all this because with the trust issues both Kim and I wrote about here, being with my friend was a good visual on what I try to share with people who think I follow religion. Last night I watched Another Perfect Stranger and I liked how they tackled religion versus relationship.

What I have in Christ is a friendship. For all those times my friend and I collapsed on a bed sharing our heart, dreams and tears, that's what Jesus does too. Sometimes He has to bluntly tell me something, but it's always wrapped in love. I can trust Him, and as time goes on, our friendship only grows and deepens.

Do you have a best friend like this? Do you liken that friendship with yours with Christ? What makes it the same? Different? I'd love to see your thoughts on this.

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger and is the Forum's book club facilitator. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09.

To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at: http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20

To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

Help Me In My Unbelief!

Well it has been a week since my last post and I still feel raw, uncertain, and am swirling in my belief. I have surrendered to the words prophesied over me concerning His call to a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him but honestly I'm just not so sure of how to get there. I feel like I'm standing on a street corner knowing where I am supposed to go but really having no idea how to get there. I have thought about calling my mentors, asking for guidance and direction, but deep inside I feel like the 'man who refuses to stop and ask for directions'. I think I am supposed to 'find my way' on my own. How scary is that!

So I sit and ponder, think and pray, and yet I find myself like doubting Thomas or the man found in Mark 9:24 which says, "Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" And then I want to smack myself! All it takes is a walk outside or a moment sitting in the sunshine to know that there is a creator and yet I still waver in this unbelief. It is as though my unbelief lies in trying to understand 'how' I can have this amazing relationship with someone I cannot see . . . I want to see like Thomas! At this point I can feel some of my mentors smacking me now!

And then He takes me to the cross.

And I think, "How can I question?"

Kim

Do you trust Him now?

It's a busy week here on the heels of Memorial Day so I don't have anything profound for you, but something I think I'm meant to share. Because even though I feel like it is just me that struggles with this, probably not.





I don't trust God.





It hurts my heart to even write that, but it's true. I can pray and believe in mountain moving faith for basically anyone in Jesus'name, but for me?





It's a struggle.





My most recent experience was yesterday. My mom is in town, son has a concert, there are swim lessons, and other activities after a weekend of illness. I am not a spontaneous person by nature and I get a little freaked when my husband throws a new plan at me. I'm getting better but still, when he greets me with "I have to tell you something" my stomach sinks.





This time he called me on his way to work to let me know he went forward with an idea we'd been tossing around and researched together. We basically came to a decision but I had one more place I wanted him to check out. He did and turned out that was the best deal. So, the people were coming the next day. Sometime between 8-4.





I grew up watching my parents lose time from work because of the cable or gas man coming between that fantasy 8-4 that never came to pass. Oh woman of great faith, you'd think I'd dismiss those memories. I embraced them, wondering the rest of the day and night how I'd fare with my day shot waiting for someone that would never come.





I wake up and casually say to my husband, "Do you think I should call the cable company to confirm they are actually coming?" He gave a kind but emphatic no. He announced, "They will be here."





Right. While I miss a needed work out, a Bible study, writing time (no internet while I wait).





8:17.





The cable guy came.





8:17 AM, by the way.





My husband asked as the man was diligently working on our request what I was feeling. I told him I feel like the Verizon commercial, but God is the one wearing the black specs asking,





"Do you trust Me now?"





My reading today is out of Mark 9 and boy can I relate. With hourly raising gas prices and other things on my mind, I still struggle. I want to trust Him, He should have earned that at the Cross. Like the father in Mark 9 I confess,





"I believe but help my unbelief!"





Can you relate?

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger and is the Forum's book club facilitator. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at: http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20

To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

Journey to Salvation: Part One

Well, I promised a few weeks ago that I would begin a series of blogs that would explain my journey with the Lord, and I hope and pray you will be encouraged in some way by my testimony…

Did you ever feel like you had it all?

Like you were in control of everything in your life and you didn’t need anything more?

That’s how my husband and I felt before the day our baby girl was traditionally baptized, when she was just a few weeks shy of three months old. We took her to an emergency room because she had a fever--we thought she would be diagnosed with some sort of infection, we would get an antibiotic, and we would go home. As we waited in the emergency room for test results, she stopped breathing. They summonsed the trauma team, and a sound rang out throughout the entire hospital that I will never forget. Suddenly a nurse physically took her from my arms and ran her to the trauma room.

During the minutes that followed, my husband and I felt like we were in the middle of a horrible nightmare. What was going on? We just came for an antibiotic—we wanted to go home.
During those minutes that felt like hours, I don’t even think I prayed. Up until that moment, I had no frame of reference to even try to call upon the Lord for help.

Once they got her stabilized and we could see her –the tiny, 11 pound baby girl that began her day in a beautiful white baptismal gown, was now on a ventilator with multiple wires and many pieces of medical equipment connected to her.

Again, I don’t recall even trying to utter a single word of prayer.

That moment and the days that followed changed a part of who my baby girl is, and in turn, changed me as a person in more ways than I ever imagined possible….

Maria and her family reside in NE Ohio. She and her husband are the parents of two. Their daughter is a person with hemipelegic cerebral palsy. Because of her experiences, Maria provides parent-to-parent support for families involved in her local early intervention program. Her gift for writing has come directly from the Lord since her daughter’s diagnosis. She writes a monthly column entitled, “Special Parents, Special Kids” for the Mahoning Valley Parent magazine in Ohio; and has expanded into Parent magazines in parts of Pennsylvania and West Virginia. She is also a contributing author at www.mommiesmagazine.com. Maria is very passionate about getting the word out to special parents that they are not alone in their journey of raising their special child; and that they were chosen by God to parent their children. Maria welcomes comments and communication as well as invitations for her to speak to your group.

No Record

No Record
Julie Originally posted at http://www.christianwritersforum.com/Blog May 4th, 2008

Psalm 130:3: “If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?"

1Corinthians 13: 4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

We went out to dinner as a family moment before my husband left for a work trip. Of all the places to go, we chose McDonalds. I know, big shock with small kids, right? My order is standard, always the chicken wrap with barbeque sauce. Problem is,they don’t agree with me.

Case in point: last month I took the kids there for dinner and while talking along I let out a sound that I can’t even define as a burp because the humiliating act had an echo that turned heads. The kids cackled and cackled. They bring it up often, even during this most recent Golden Arches meal.

As our trip to the airport progressed, we paid tolls. I wasn’t even in my husband’s life then and even I recall the same story his older children told from years ago: he went to pay the automatic toll and missed the catch, dropping his money. After all this time, no one forgot.

Same for when we needed an elevator to get my husband to the correct gate. Even our oldest says, “remember when” and tells the tale of when my husband’s older children used to sit on elevator floors. My elevator recollection is from a few years ago when I was in a performance of “Heaven’s Gates and Hell’s Flames”. My character perished in an elevator accident. If I ever hear the music that accompanied my dramatic death scene, I can assure you I’m off that real elevator!

Embarrassing sounds. Clumsy actions. Uncomfortable moments. Our kids don’t forget those times and most likely, spouses don’t either.

I’m so thankful to serve a God who does not keep a record of our wrongs. It isn’t because He’s ditsy and He forgot, it’s because He loves us so much He chooses not to. As Psalm 130 states, who could stand under such a recollection if the Lord did such a thing?

This week I’ve been watching online evenings on God.TV. services out of Lakeland, Florida. God is using a man the world would never think of because his record of shame is etched in his skin with colored ink. Todd Bentley by his own account was saved in his drug dealer’s trailer. He used to cut himself and was an alcoholic.

Then Jesus came.

I blush over a traffic stopping burp. Todd Bentley remembers the smells and sounds of artificial highs. Perhaps your account of deeds lie somewhere in the middle. No matter what you’ve done, are doing, or are even tempted to do, you can live a true clean slate free of shame.
Call on the Lord today. The Lord who forgives. The Lord who is Love.

The Lord who keeps no record of wrongs.

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger and is the Forum's book club facilitator. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at: http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20
To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.