Receiving a Gift I Never Asked For

I should've written this sooner. Truth is, I wanted to make sure.

I'm sure.

If you've ready anything of mine the past three years, you know I've struggled with poycystic ovaries and endometreosis severe enough to need a complete hysterectomy when I was 38. This put me in menopause, which I was experiencing symptoms of anyway, and the menopause issues have been interesting.



Before the hysterctomy my doctor put me on a low dose antidepressant to minimize these symptoms. He warned me to stay consistent with it as going cold turkey or not taking them on a regular basis would bring about not so fun times.

Before the medication I'm transparent enough to say there were days and weeks I was at any given time one, more, or all of the following: depressed, anxious, not sleeping, crying for no reason, starving, sweaty hot even after the smallest of movement and unable to focus.

When I started taking the medicine and then with the surgery some symptoms disappeared, most were so minimal it wasn't even an issue...unless I forgot my meds. That's the funny part about menopause, you lose your mind, and you need your mind to take the meds. I use to bask in my organizational skills and I couldn't remember if I took the meds or not. I'd wait a day and if I was a shaky unfocused mess, I knew I didn't. And so the cycle went.

Last week I attended a conference called Miracles, Signs and Wonders. Even if I was a follower of man, I honestly wouldn't know who to talk about from the conference because the process occurred during the entire conference with different speakers. Bottom line---it was a God thing. I went to that conference seeking Him and His strategies for me to pray for the area. That's it.

The first day I remember sitting down and wondering if I took my meds. The speaker that night talked about love and compassion but she also spoke of divine healing. There was no big fanfare, especially with me. I never went to the altar. I never reached my arms toward heaven seeking a change in my body. Honestly, I extended a hand forward and asked a blessing on all those who did. I wanted their pains to cease, their issues to change. I never thought about me.

I remembered, though, the next day to put the meds in my purse, but I didn't have a drink handy. I got busy listening to another speaker recall his healing, something so under the radar it took him awhile to realize God restored his sight to 20/20. I laughed out loud. I mean, really, who could miss such a thing?

The next morning I realized the meds were still there, untouched. I realize I've missed at least one day and as many as three, which for me should spell off the charts confusion, hot flashes, starving, and the whole ball of wax.

I felt nada. Instead, I felt focused. Warm, but not hot. Comfortable. Content.

Same for the next day,and the next, and the next, and well, same thing even as I write. Now I'm not taking the meds by design. The weather is in the 90's and although it's warm and I get hot like anyone else after working out or sitting directly in the sun, it's not even close to what I've been experiencing for years. Back is the wife who knows where the socks are and can remember to sign the permission slips and pay that bill.

Am I condoning ignoring doctor advice? No, I. am. not.

Am I sharing my story, which I'm proclaiming as a belated healing?

You betcha.

I don't know how God works and why He does what He does, or doesn't do what He doesn't do. All I know is I 'm going on at least a week with no meds and I'm calm, cool and collected. I'm extra thankful because I received something I didn't even ask for.

Blessed?

Um...YEAH!



confused Pictures, Images and Photos

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Surrendering the good, the bad, and---maybe one day---the chocolate

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The Passion Play Jesus

It's been a couple weeks since this happened, but I can't shake it.   to the font

Our youngest needed her adenoids and tonsils removed.  The last time she was in a children's hospital, it was a life or death situation.  I knew this time around was different, but the deep seated memories flew to the forefront. If I could have taken a billboard out asking for prayer, I most likely would have done it.

At the same time, our church held their tenth annual Passion Play.  Their Palm Sunday presentation was the night before the surgery and our pastoral care pastor and wife asked us to meet them backstage.  We gathered around and prayed, adults oblivious to our surroundings.  When the prayer ended, the six year old made a statement.

"Jesus is here."

I wanted to pat her on the head and say I no sweetie, I know Jesus is with us.

She rolled her eyes, turned, and pointed.

"No, mom.  Jesus is here, praying with us."

Little did I know the man playing Jesus in the Passion Play was in character, wanting to walk through.  The reverent man that he is, he waited until our prayer was done.  My eyes were closed and I was trying to ask God for faith our daughter already had.

I thought Jesus' work was done and that I learned from the visual lesson.


A friend was in the play and apparently during cast prayer, she mentioned a toothache.  It wasn't long after she felt a touch on the shoulder.

"I hear you have a toothache.  Don't worry, it will be ok."

It was Passion Play Jesus.

Not only did he comfort her with those words and give her a little boost of faith with his authentic look, she noticed something.

Her pain disappeared.

Passion Play Jesus spoke encouraging words reaffirming the reality of Jesus we honor with the play.

Real Jesus was there.  How quick we forget unless it's Passion Play season and the man portraying Him stands behind you.  Real Jesus is always there.  Even after Passion Play.

Blessed be His name.


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Surrendering the good, the bad, and---maybe one day---the chocolate

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The Wrestling Match

Ephesians 6:12, WOW!

It has been one of those weeks! I write to you a day late due to colds and viruses that have been attacking my family. I will confess that my patience level is at an all time low as it feels like someone is standing on my chest. I have also been struggling with some relationship challenges outside of my immediate family. And so I wonder . . . what is this all about? Allergy season? Just a virus? A coincidence? Or do we dare go there . . . could it be a battle in the spiritual realm? There I said it . . . the spiritual realm! Don't click the close box yet!

The spiritual realm . . . it sounds so 'out there' and honestly, quite scary. Are there really battles going on that we cannot see? Do angels and demons really exist? I know one thing, mention the word angel and everyone smiles. Say the word demon or demonic spirit and you are sure to clear out the room.

Ephesian 6:12 tells us, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

So . . . I cannot help but wonder if the illness striking my family is 'just a virus' or is there is a battle going on. Science tells me one thing, my gut tells me another. Is it a coincidence that we have been praying and waiting and waiting and waiting for a specific dream to come to pass and we are only a few weeks away from a knowing if it will? Is it a coincidence that I just sent out letters to six Godly women asking them to consider a mission trip to Romania in the fall? Is it a coincidence that my husband who rarely gets sick woke up in the night with his throat throbbing and consticting for hours saying, "I have never felt like this before?" Again, just wondering.

As I lay my head down tonight I will pray for healing and peace for my family. And yes, I will include a few words coming against the 'powers of darkness' but my main focus will be where it should be . . . on Him, my healer, my friend, and the one who saves us all, Jesus.

Be Blessed, Kim

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Must See TV

My schedule evenings this week has been a bit off. I haven't talked to Maria too much this week, but I have Kim. She too is tuning in. I went to Bible study yesterday at the Y and not only did we also tune in via video, our facilitator was at the actual event over the weekend.



What is it that is going on?



It's revival.



I've been watching since Sunday online at http://www.god.tv/. If you have DirecTV or Skyangel I believe you can access it there as well. Todd Bentley is honestly just a guy who loves Jesus and is used mightily for God's glory. What I love about the Lord choosing THIS guy over most for this awesome outpouring is Todd by looks alone is the LAST guy the world would pick to lead a revival. My guess is even Todd would agree. He is covered in tattoos, his past before Christ wasn't just wild, I believe it was violent. Then God took hold, and Todd isn't violent, he's passionate.



He was to lead a weekend full of services last month in Lakeland, Florida. That weekend turned into a week, then two, then three, now four and counting. The events outgrew two large churches, a convention center and starting tomorrow with be at the Lakeland Tiger stadium, holding 15,000.



So far, every night is packed. People are hungry, thirsty and desperate not for Todd and the strange, funny and amazing way God is using him and the team there, they are hungry for Jesus.

And by golly, Jesus is there.



Even watching online I can tell you this is the real deal. I am a skeptic, cynic and what I am seeing and feeling in my own spirit I can tell you---you can't fake that. There is a prescence of God so strong on that stage people step on the platform and are not just falling over, they are flipping like fish out of water. There is holy laughter and reverent silence only to be immediately followed by wild worship that makes as our teacher's husband shared, louder than a touchdown between Ohio State and Michigan (which has 100,000). People have tried to control the handling of these evenings and they just can not. God is in control and He is having His way.



I've seen people with rods in their leg and decades of numbness start running around the building. Wheelchair bound folks are dancing. Muscles are growing. Are you a cynic? Those that exprienced the healing are going to the doctors to back it up with authentic documentation. The media is sniffing around, and they are invited because again, this isn't about Todd or the people, or even the angels people are seeing when they are worshipping and "slain in the spirit". It's about Jesus. It was over 2000 years ago, and it still is today.

A Tampa TV reporter showed up to cover the story but confessed she too was healed. Even in the stadium she was vomiting from migraines, something she has had for years. She went on stage to share she is a believer in Christ, but she also was healed. As someone with a heart for the media to know truth, I wept.

A similar thing is happening over at MorningStar where Rick Joyner serves. This movement is primarily youth led and the pictures alone get my blood turbo pumping. Kids ditching the Wii, skateboards, whatever and choosing to praise God? Again, you can't fake that my friends.

If you've watched water boil, I tell you this. The pan is hot and the bubbles are starting.

But mark my words, this is just the beginning.

I don't want to miss a thing.

This link will take you to an article about a young girl who was healed in Lakeland over the weekend. Although I missed this online, my friends were there and before I even read this article, they nearly word for word described the very same scene that is explained. It is worth a cup of coffee and five minutes to read. Then, find God.TV. at 7pm EST until 11.

And be amazed.

http://www.elijahlist.com/

Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger and is the Forum's book club facilitator. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at: http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

Maria on Surrender

Did you ever have a minor cut or scrape that at first hurts so bad, you don’t know how you will ever think about anything else? The pain seems to override everything else you have to do or focus on….It takes all of your energy to do something other than try to alleviate the pain from this wound.

Then after you nurse this wound for a little while, you realize the pain is not as it once was, it is tolerable, and you can go about your daily routine without having to feel the reminder that it is there and still causing you pain. Then suddenly, one day, you see the remainder of a scab or scar that was there, and you actually forgot it was there, or that not so long ago, it was causing you pain.

I feel that the wounds of our lives, our hearts, our emotions, are very similar to this kind of wound. No matter how minor the wound may be, the pain that can come from such a wound can pierce our innermost beings. But when we come to Christ, we know and we learn that He can make all things new, He has paid the price of his life for us, for our sins…so initially we think that if we go after Him and search out answers to all of our questions, maybe he can take away some of this pain. And we read His promises, we believe them to be true, but in the meantime, we are nursing these wounds…they still hurt. We know in our heart that He is who He says He is, and we see Him working in other people’s lives, and we read, we ask, we want to know him more….and we believe. But why then, if we believe, do these things still hurt? We think, “If I were a true believer, this pain would be gone…what’s wrong with me? I must not know enough, I must not be willing enough…” So, in turn, we search more, more resources, more books, more messengers and conferences, we think to ourselves, “surely if I go here or there, or read this book or that book, then I will fully understand and the pain will go away.”

But it is not until we realize there is only one book and only one resource that we need. It is in His word, and His name is Jesus, and He has endured the pain of our wounds, he has felt our scrapes, he has felt them even before we did. He knew we would be feeling them, and he has been waiting for us to totally completely surrender and believe him at his word. Believe that he is who he says he is, and he wants us to depend on him to carry us through.

I feel that this cannot happen completely until we learn what it is to receive this grace, this love, this mercy that he has for us. Each and every one of us. When we stop searching, running to find answers…when we just sit in his presence and truly receive his words from the only book we need, it is then and only then that our healing can begin. He doesn’t want us to hold onto anything…he knows we’re holding on to it and trying to do it in our own strength…he wants us to trust all of his words, and allow him to rescue us from this pain. He wants believing and receiving to go hand in hand. He knows it is sometimes difficult for us to receive….because some of these even small scrapes can be very, very deep and cause intense pain. When we decide to immerse ourselves in his word and live within his grace, we can truly, completely receive his promises.
And then, one day, as this receiving becomes second nature to us, we realize there were wounds that have now begun to heal. You see, when we surrender all to the Lord, and let his rain fall on us…and soak in it, it is then and only then that pain will become a memory. He will take the pain, and bask in the joy of our commitment and love for him.

Allow him to take your pain.
Allow him to rescue you from the wounds in your heart.
Let him in.
Give him your pain.
He wants to take it.
Go ahead. He really is who he says he is.
Let him heal you.
Surrender.


Maria and her family reside in NE Ohio. She and her husband are the parents of two. Their daughter is a person with hemipelegic cerebral palsy. Because of her experiences, Maria provides parent-to-parent support for families involved in her local early intervention program. Her gift for writing has come directly from the Lord since her daughter’s diagnosis. She writes a monthly column entitled, “Special Parents, Special Kids” for the Mahoning Valley Parent magazine in Ohio; and has expanded into Parent magazines in parts of Pennsylvania and West Virginia. She is also a contributing author at www.mommiesmagazine.com. Maria is very passionate about getting the word out to special parents that they are not alone in their journey of raising their special child; and that they were chosen by God to parent their children. Maria welcomes comments and communication. If you would like to talk to her, please leave a comment with an e mail address.