In my last post I promised to share more about the Summit, the orphaned, and ways to become involved . . . and I will very soon. Today I have something pressing on my heart and I feel the need to walk, or shall I say "write" it out.
Since my salvation experience 2 1/2 years ago the Lord has been working in me as I chase Him, run from Him, and ultimately seek His face. I have been through seasons of joy, awe, peace, doubt, desperation, lonliness, and healing. My time with Him has been like a roller coaster ride and I must admit my favorite part has been the anticipation of His prescence and then going down the first hill with my hands in the air in total surrender. I love the freedom and thrill that He brings into my life! But today is different. Today I am standing on the platform of a new coaster, a new ride, right behind the 'yellow line,' asking myself . . . 'Do I really want to get on? Do I really trust that this is all 'real'? What if this ride is too scary, has too many twists and turns, or it is not what I thought it would be, what then?'
Within the past few weeks I have been at two separate prayer gatherings with two totally different groups of people and had the same words prophesied over me both times. The words were like an invitation, an invitation from the Lord, to enter into a new place of intimacy with Him. A place that is full of depth and love where He will share His heart with me. He is asking me to take His hand and be with Him, spend more time with Him, and truly fall in love with Him. He is asking me to start 'birthing' the destiny He has placed inside me, to trust Him, and not feel guilty or be afraid. But honestly, I am scared to death! In the natural my mind is swirling. Can I truly experience pure, fufilling love in this life that will not be filled with void and ultimately disappointment? Or am I really kidding myself? What if this whole 'Christianity thing' is not really real, then what? What if I make a fool of myself and land flat on my face? Ughhh!!!!
So here I stand on the edge, behind the yellow line, with a decision to make. Do I believe the words spoken over me through God's prophets or do I believe the lies man and the world has told me? Do I believe His Word, the bible, or do I spend my years here on earth searching for fufillment in man made truths in books, self help sections, and material things? Do I remember and give thanks for all the healing and peace He has already brought into my life or do I let the enemy convince me that it is all just a facade and not real? Well, I have already tried the later, so I suppose the choice has already been made. I'm going to step over the line, get in, buckle up, and get ready for the ride of my life. I will keep you posted.
Holding On, Kim
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