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I should've written this sooner. Truth is, I wanted to make sure.
I'm sure.
If you've ready anything of mine the past three years, you know I've struggled with poycystic ovaries and endometreosis severe enough to need a complete hysterectomy when I was 38. This put me in menopause, which I was experiencing symptoms of anyway, and the menopause issues have been interesting.
Before the hysterctomy my doctor put me on a low dose antidepressant to minimize these symptoms. He warned me to stay consistent with it as going cold turkey or not taking them on a regular basis would bring about not so fun times.
Before the medication I'm transparent enough to say there were days and weeks I was at any given time one, more, or all of the following: depressed, anxious, not sleeping, crying for no reason, starving, sweaty hot even after the smallest of movement and unable to focus.
When I started taking the medicine and then with the surgery some symptoms disappeared, most were so minimal it wasn't even an issue...unless I forgot my meds. That's the funny part about menopause, you lose your mind, and you need your mind to take the meds. I use to bask in my organizational skills and I couldn't remember if I took the meds or not. I'd wait a day and if I was a shaky unfocused mess, I knew I didn't. And so the cycle went.
Last week I attended a conference called Miracles, Signs and Wonders. Even if I was a follower of man, I honestly wouldn't know who to talk about from the conference because the process occurred during the entire conference with different speakers. Bottom line---it was a God thing. I went to that conference seeking Him and His strategies for me to pray for the area. That's it.
The first day I remember sitting down and wondering if I took my meds. The speaker that night talked about love and compassion but she also spoke of divine healing. There was no big fanfare, especially with me. I never went to the altar. I never reached my arms toward heaven seeking a change in my body. Honestly, I extended a hand forward and asked a blessing on all those who did. I wanted their pains to cease, their issues to change. I never thought about me.
I remembered, though, the next day to put the meds in my purse, but I didn't have a drink handy. I got busy listening to another speaker recall his healing, something so under the radar it took him awhile to realize God restored his sight to 20/20. I laughed out loud. I mean, really, who could miss such a thing?
The next morning I realized the meds were still there, untouched. I realize I've missed at least one day and as many as three, which for me should spell off the charts confusion, hot flashes, starving, and the whole ball of wax.
I felt nada. Instead, I felt focused. Warm, but not hot. Comfortable. Content.
Same for the next day,and the next, and the next, and well, same thing even as I write. Now I'm not taking the meds by design. The weather is in the 90's and although it's warm and I get hot like anyone else after working out or sitting directly in the sun, it's not even close to what I've been experiencing for years. Back is the wife who knows where the socks are and can remember to sign the permission slips and pay that bill.
Am I condoning ignoring doctor advice? No, I. am. not.
Am I sharing my story, which I'm proclaiming as a belated healing?
You betcha.
I don't know how God works and why He does what He does, or doesn't do what He doesn't do. All I know is I 'm going on at least a week with no meds and I'm calm, cool and collected. I'm extra thankful because I received something I didn't even ask for.
Blessed?
Um...YEAH!
confused Pictures, Images and Photos
I saw this on the site called Church Crunch and I'm still blown away. For all the evil the internet has going against it, God gets the glory because so much is used to further, advance, and promote His kingdom. I love that!
I will link you to the site I read about but in a nutshell, you can conduct a prayer walk for Haiti thanks to a program using Google Earth. I found it fascinating and can other strategic prayer places be far behind? New Orleans? China? Nashville? London? Romania? Can you imagine all of us praying with Kim when she is serving in Romania? The options seem endless.
Check it out and let's enter the throne room on behalf of Haiti! Prayer walk link here.
It's been a couple weeks since this happened, but I can't shake it. to the font
Our youngest needed her adenoids and tonsils removed. The last time she was in a children's hospital, it was a life or death situation. I knew this time around was different, but the deep seated memories flew to the forefront. If I could have taken a billboard out asking for prayer, I most likely would have done it.
At the same time, our church held their tenth annual Passion Play. Their Palm Sunday presentation was the night before the surgery and our pastoral care pastor and wife asked us to meet them backstage. We gathered around and prayed, adults oblivious to our surroundings. When the prayer ended, the six year old made a statement.
"Jesus is here."
I wanted to pat her on the head and say I no sweetie, I know Jesus is with us.
She rolled her eyes, turned, and pointed.
"No, mom. Jesus is here, praying with us."
I'm nearing the end of the late Jill Austin's Dancing with Destiny.
This chapter is about strategies for soliders, key things as a praying person you can ask for and know God will equip you for the unseen battle called intercession.
This chapter deserves a book of its own. I took a course on this subject because I've always had a sensitive ear for God and would be a step or two ahead of others. For years I felt it was a curse because few could relate to me or me them. Researching this topic and really praying on it helped me see being a messenger for God's kingdom is a blessing.
But like Spiderman, it also requires great responsibility.
I think we are very close to the place where the word prophecy isn't so scary or abused as it used to be. The phrase "thus saith the Lord" was beyond worn out and sometimes applied during wrong times. Sometimes people meant harm, and most of the time, they didn't. They were simply acting without guidance and were like me when I turn on the supermax hose on the car wash.
Out of control.
Jill makes an excellent point I need to take seriously, because I haven't been. I want to be an effective vessel for Him and that means the things of this world can't appeal to me or have a hold on me more than Christ does. One of my issues is gossip. I love news and I love reading. And more often than not I find my browser heading in a direction that seems like news, but it's gossip.
My choices put a black eye on the incredible things God could do if I was giving Him clear access. So if you are someone that stands in the gap in the name of Christ in prayer, don't forget to pray for yourself. Ask God to open your eyes and ears not only to His ways and what He has for others, but what He's seeing in you. What convicts me might not be a conviction for you.
For some, I know great people of prayer very solid in Christ who watch "R" movies. I just can't. The last movie I remember was John Travolta's Face/Off. That movie was well written and acted but I felt such evil my spirit was out of whack for days. Sometimes there are even PG-13 movies I have to walk away from. But that's my conviction, and you need to ask God for yours.
A lot of people struggle finding the balance between what to say when God gives them something, and when to be quiet. I tell people my life is about trial and error, mostly error. If I see something, as Jill wrote, like a flower, I'll wait on it, pray about it.
If I get that "burn in my belly" I've learned for me, I'll probably be speaking about it. I keep praying and when the time comes, that burn is out of control. I just know. But I refuse to use the words, thus saith the Lord. If God gives me a message it's for His glory and for the person to seek Him for the rest of the answer. I don't make generic promises, but if I sense something, and I've got that burn, I'll share it---and tell them to go to God with it for more. That way it isn't about me and I'm not making fleshy promises.
Sometimes I get a whole lot of information, downloads I call them, and I'd blab it all over the place. Yea, don't do that. Again, after prayer I came to realize that information was His sacred time with me to give me prayer directive. Some people aren't willing to hear the things I couldn't wait to share about them or a loved one. Finally I'm pretty much to the point that when I have a sense about something, I go to Him first. I'm starting to see things unfold that I had an inkling about, but I knew it was not for me to say, just pray on. It's so much sweeter when I do things His way.
That's the base of the chapter. If you think messengers of God are brilliant, perfect people, take a look in the Bible. Jonah was pretty rebellious when it came to obedience. Jeremiah was the "weeping prophet". I can relate to him. Often after a move of God that I prayed about to some degree, I'm emotionally wiped and I cry my eyes out. I've learned to not schedule a lot when I sense such a move coming, because I won't be with it and I know it.
Again, trial and error. God is gracious and He's not expecting you to know it all. In fact, you never will because then He's not necessary. If you say too much or too little, let God know you goofed and you don't want to repeat it. If your heart is pure, you'll get plenty of other opportunities.
Julie Arduini is a writer and speaker residing in NE Ohio with her husband and two children. Her first published fiction work is included in Delivered by the Peculiar People Postcard Project. To see her complete writing and speaking resume, please visit her at her website.