(heartlight.org)

The past few weeks have been an amazing time of revelation and growth; however, I must confess that the weeks prior were a real struggle. A mentor and friend told me, "This is all about faith, Kim. It is all about faith." Faith . . . confidence and trust in God. Did I really have it? Did I really believe and if I did was it to the fullest or just halfway, you know 'playing it safe.' At times it felt like an isolated mountain climb. A time where I could either choose to keep climbing even though my footing was slipping and the top looked too far away or a time when I could have started on my descent to the what looked like 'green grass' below. I chose to keep climbing. I reached out to friends, mentors, and my husband crying for help. My friends listened and encouraged, my mentors told me to read my bible, and my husband said, "You are just like the Israelites! When things are not going your way you whine and want to go build a golden calf. You keep forgetting all that He has done for you." Ouch!!! He was absolutely right. So I started reading, continued reaching out to others around me (I can easily isolate myself), and sat in awe of the stories of Daniel and Esther. I admired Daniel's faith as he lived in a pagan world. Mordecai and Esther taught me about prepartion, timing, patience, faith, and importance. I became so engrossed I did not want to put my bible down. In the meantime, the visits from male cardinals surrounded me.

Throughout the summer I received e-mails from Julie concerning the cardinals in her yard. Another friend also told me that Joy kept seeing a male cardinal. I had never experienced something like this before and honestly I thought, "Are they really making more of this, come on!" And then a male cardinal visited me. In late July we went on a last minute getaway to SC. One morning while sitting on a very, very small screen porch drinking my tea a male cardinal flew up next to the door and sat on the banister. He looked right at me and chirped for a very long time. I giggled and asked him what he was saying. He continued to chirp and eventually flew away. When we came home I started seeing a male cardinal in our backyard. Then the diving began. When sitting outside or taking a walk around the block male cardinals would dive only a few feet in front of me and swoop to the opposite side. This happened day after day. One day while driving down our street a male cardinal swooped in front of my car, I slammed on my brakes, it furiously fluttered and then flew away. My children in the car claim that there was nothing there. I shared my cardinal encounters with Julie, did a little research, and sent it onto Joy. She responded with her interpretation and her recent accident. Honestly I thought her interpretation was good but it had to be much bigger than that. The next morning I took my children to school (something my husband does 99% of the time), encountered an unexpected detour which caused delay, pulled into an area which I rarely use, and after my giggling children got out of the car I slammed into an oversized cement curb. When I put my car in reverse I could hear my front fender being ripped apart. Okay God, I got it! Slow down and pay attention. It is of the utmost importance. I started thinking about Mordecai and Esther. They took it slow, paid attention, it was of the utmost importance.

Male cardinals, His word, mentors, close friends, a spouse . . . all tools He used to reveal Himself to me once again. Looking back I had two choices, give up (which looked more appealing at the time) or press on. Frustrated, disappointed, and with tears in my eyes I chose to press on and once again it was all worth it. Amen!!!

Kim

Disclaimer: My writing on what Joy and Julie experienced and shared is to the best of my recollection. Any errors I have in thier interpretation is my own.

**On October 11th I will be leaving for a nine day trip to Romania. Two other women and I will be ministering in Oradea and a very remote gypsy village. Please join us in prayer as we prepare for our trip, keeping in mind the words revealed through the male cardinal. More details coming soon**

Of the Utmost Importance

It didn't take long, but already we have an update on the "Dive Bombin' Male Cardinal". If you have no idea what I'm blogging about, read this post first.

Before I could even publish the post about the cardinal, Kim and Joy both experienced very similar dive bombing cardinal experiences while driving. With the previous information about cardinal meaning "of the utmost importance" and that in the past the cardinal has been used symbolically as a sign of God as our defender (if we'll let Him), all three of us were still in the dark on the true meaning of the cardinal in our lives.

Monday things started to shape up. Joy shared that this summer driving she's also experienced feelings of almost backing into things that weren't there, etc...On Monday she has no explanation but she was driving and suddenly in the back of a car. She's fine, the car, not quite totaled.

Just so you know, the ministry her and her family are involved with, Real Living Ministries, in the last month had major direction and favor. God is doing something with the Real Living Team and they will be meeting a very hungry need in the community for the glory of Christ. Ever since that direction became clear, it's been one spiritual attack after another.

Post car accident for Joy, she felt "of the utmost importance" was to slow down. It would be easy to go so full steam ahead for the Lord that we leave Him in the dust. I've done it. Joy knows God's plans will go forward, but in His time and way. Without knowing the details behind everything going on in Lakeland, she drew wisdom in thinking saying yes to the Lord does not mean a trade off. Dying to self doesn't mean we lose our marriage and kids, that is never God's plan. Joy feels now by slowing down she can not only clear from Him and allow even greater things to happen through obedience, but she'll also have her focus on Him to deal with the circumstances around her. I know for me, I can get so lost in the serving, I forget everything else and it is a cost. A cost this week I realized I'm not willing to pay. I want it all, not a trade off. To Joy, she felt the cardinal was a divine warning to slow down, and that message is now of utmost importance to her.

Kim leaves a message Tuesday. She took the kids to school, something her husband usually does. She parked a different place. Kids were laughing. She pulls away and gets caught on a small slab of cement. Gone is her fender. The timing and cost on this could not be any worse.

When Joy and I shared the slowing down---of utmost importance, it struck a chord for Kim too. I'm sure she'll blog about it here (hint, hint), especially to clear up anything I got wrong! But God has given such vision and favor right now, and there is so much Kim could do with it. Today we realized without proper alignment, steps, and relationships in place, it would be easy for this to take a turn the Lord doesn't want.

As soon as I got Kim's news, I gathered the kids and we canceled in agreement any plan the devil (defeated one) has against any of us and our families. I asked for divine wisdom and resources to help me have His senses as I go about my day for Him. I asked that for all Kim and Joy have sown into the Kingdom this summer, that the Lord would reap and restore the finances needed 100 fold for these repairs.

Slowing down---of the utmost importance is obviously resonating with each of us. For me, stepping out more in writing, encouraging others in marriage and finding freedom through Christ made me feel like I was fighting a Leviathan alone in the forest. This week I realized I'm not fighting that beast, God is. I am in a forest, but not alone. It's where I'm protected by my Heavenly Defender. And in Jesus' name I don't have to move forward in Him and lose everything, including my sanity. I just know for me, I need to slow down. It's of the utmost of importance.

By the way, on my way home I think out of the corner of my eye I saw a cardinal flying off as I drove. Joy had to put on the brakes to stop for two cardinals who were in the road not flying off. Kim is still seeing the male cardinal.

Slow down. It's of the utmost of importance.

Disclaimer: My writing on what Joy experienced and shared is to the best of my recollection. Any errors I have in her interpretation is my own.

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she also blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. One of the books will be a quote in Kathy Vick's Simon and Schuster/Howard's gift book, "Run Like a Girl."
You can also find Julie the third Thursday of each month over at Take Root and Write with her column, Finding Freedom through Surrender. She facilates a group by the same name at the sister social networking site, Christian Women Take Root.

Finding Treasure

This summer I was introduced to something so simple and so God I dare say some people will dismiss it, mock it, or run from it. Their loss.

It's called a treasure hunt and instead of trying to find gold, material things, you find a person.

It goes like this. You invite a group of people to the treasure hunt. Have papers and pencils, transportation if you wish. The papers should have the following:

Location:

Names:

Need:

Something Unusual:

Then, you pray. When I attended, it was one person who prayed that the Holy Spirit would show us who we could bless in Christ's name that evening. It wasn't profound or long. We put pencil to paper and went at it. Instead of lingering, we jotted whatever came to mind.

I'm getting used to funny looks because I like my simple faith, it works for me. I believe kids are the gateway NOW to the kingdom, not later, so I'll bring them into an opportunity if I can. I brought the five year old with me and honestly she had as many answers for the paper as I did.

After writing, we broke into groups. Our group had five people I think, including two under the age of sixteen. We looked at our sheets and found the things in common. It will shock you that yes, there will be things in common.

For our group, we had red cross, a dad, and flags. We were next to a hospital so off we went. Our mission was to find someone matching our papers and just (not all of us) let them know we are on a treasure hunt and that they are God's treasure. That's it. No salvation message, no come to my church, just that. If you feel the need to pray, do so, but only after asking. Be sensitive to things that you might be comfortable with that a stranger might not.

We walked around one entrance at the hospital and just did not see anyone who matched our papers. We decided to walk out the emergency exit which was another way to get back to where we started, closer to the road.

Directly across from that exit was---the American Red Cross. We had no idea. We walk over and see no one, so we pray for the workers, the programs, the clients, etc...One of the men looks across the parking lot and notes all these flags. The building was a Masonic Lodge. A place with lots of "dads". We prayed as we felt led and apparently as I prayed for men to rise up as God created them to do, the clouds over the lodge broke and a ray of sun shone right on my face.

We did not find a person to share with, but we felt we hit a goldmine anyway. When we returned to "debrief", we learned another girl had the same experience of sun shining on her as she prayed. One group went to the mall in search of someone dressed in Goth attire with a neon sign and a pop machine. The group had a specific thing listed on the paper I can't remember, and I think a name attached, but I can't remember. For my example I'll say abandonment and the name John. They go to a store that usually has people dressed like that and nothing. One of the kids in the group was hungry and wanted something to eat. He visits a kiosk and guess who waits on him?

A girl dressed in Goth style. She took his order next to a pop machine and the kiosk had a neon sign over her head. An adult in the group just shared the treasure message with her and she was very taken that God would think of her and send strangers. She was going through the very issue their paper had.

Another group found a man who fit all the criteria but was skeptical and didn't want to be prayed for, but when he saw the paper, he was amazed. The next day his daughter was having surgery, and I believe the name and/or the need matched the group's papers.

What I found curious (and hysterical) was that some people who started the treasure hunt felt weird and left before the hunt started. They broke off and went to dinner. Guess what, they found the person on their list at dinner. They didn't approach the person, but guess how life changing it was for them to realize God was working even when they didn't want to.

I encourage you to give this a try. We live in a hurting world and who couldn't use a message of encouragement? I remember years ago hearing that a pastor called a 1-900 type number after hearing an ad about how this number could help you feel special. The number was for a psychic. The girl on the phone answered the pastor's questions. Turns out most of her calls are from hurting people who just want to know they matter.

They do, and so do you.

Isn't it about time we told someone?

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she also blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. One of the books will be a quote in Kathy Vick's Simon and Schuster/Howard's gift book, "Run Like a Girl."
You can also find Julie the third Thursday of each month over at Take Root and Write with her column, Finding Freedom through Surrender. She facilates a group by the same name at the sister social networking site, Christian Women Take Root.

Sit Still

Sit still . . . words we ask of our children all the time. Sit still at the dinner table, sit still at your desk, sit still in the physician's waiting room, . . . sit still. When we ask we expect obedience. Yet when He asks what do we do?

Sit still.

Still.

Do not go and fold that basket of clothes. Do not answer the phone that keeps ringing. Do not get in the car and take care of your errand list. Do not sweep the dust bunnies that you can now see hopping under the couch. Do not keep thinking about all the things that you have to do, sit still.

Why is it so hard?

Confession time. This week I realized why it is so hard for me. I am afraid that I am not going to like what God has to say so it is easier to stay busy, make excuses, and hide from Him. Flesh in full force!

I fear that He may lead me into a different direction, one I may not like, want, or understand. Or He may ask me to do something I really do not want to do. Or He may want me to just rest and be still. I like being busy. Or He may ask me to wait . . . and I really do not like waiting. And the biggie, He may (He will) ask me to trust Him and that means I have no control.

Psalm 46:10 says, ""Be still, and know that I am God."

Be still.

This week, after months of trying to do things my way and feeling frustrated, abandoned, and disappointed, I surrendered. One morning when all was still quiet I sat in my family room with Him. I sat still. The first moments were very uncomfortable. But I continued to sit still and think about Him. I talked, He listened. Then I stayed quiet and soon I began to feel at peace. The rest of the day I tried to stay in that peace. I did not make any phone calls, I kept to myself, and I sat outside while my children played and tried to keep my mind clear. And in the stillness came revelation. Revelation that He needs me still to talk to me, to help me grow, and to ground me in His word. I realized things such as, How can I expect to go out and do, do, do when I do not really understand who He is? How can I expect to know and understand Him when I am not reading scripture? How can I share His love when I am unwilling to open myself up and let His love in? And how can I really expect Him to fully move in my life when I do not fully trust Him?

Trust Him. Big revelation. Not a little trust, not a some of the time trust, not as a last resort trust. Trust Him. Fully and completely. Trust Him. I really need to work on this one!

Stillness.

Be still and know that He is God.

Blessings, Kim

Dive Bombin' Male Cardinals

Remember my post about the blue heron?

Apparently this year, the male cardinal is the new feathered friend God is using to speak to my life.

It started in the Spring. There was a male and female that every day for weeks would visit our yard and chat. I don't mean just sing, I mean they would position themselves at the right angle so I could see them. One time they were so close they were on the deck and just talking away. To me. I'm not kidding.

One day I was pulling in the driveway after an odd act of obedience at Starbucks and the cardinals greeted me and flew with me until I parked, and I didn't see them for about a month.

This summer, it has been all about the male cardinal.

There was a male cardinal following me both times I was in Upstate NY. There is a male cardinal in our neighborhood that is often in our yard. I believe three times a cardinal has dive bombed me either while I'm driving or walking.

I am convinced this is a God message for me.

What's funnier, is it isn't just happening to me. Kim is experiencing the same thing, and so is a friend of ours, author Joy Chickonoski.

Our research so far has yielded the distinct ardinal call, which to some sounds like "pretty". This would be a good message as I know I struggle with self esteem issues. We've learned that the male is a defender and guard. That's a good thing to know as each of us are moving forward in ministry to places, people, and situations we've never known. There is a saying "new level, new devil" and for me, it's accurate. I hunger so deeply to know the Lord more intimately and each step forward seems like another blast into the wilderness.

Kim shared that the word cardinal, from Wikipedia, means:

The word cardinal comes from the Latin cardo for "hinge" and usually refers to things of fundamental importance, as in cardinal rule orcardinal sins.

Both Kim and I were both reading about Daniel and without the other knowing, wishing he were around to interpret this cardinal thing for us. I believe in His timing, we will know, and it will be good. This I know because He is good.

I just am thankful so far the dive bombing cardinals are not leaving me any messy presents!

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she also blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. One of the books will be a quote in Kathy Vick's Simon and Schuster/Howard's gift book, "Run Like a Girl."

You can also find Julie the third Thursday of each month over at Take Root and Write with her column, Finding Freedom through Surrender. She facilates a group by the same name at the sister social networking site, Christian Women Take Root.

Chains

I wrote this at a retreat I attended a few years ago, and just revisited it…
My prayer is that you can declare it for yourself…
Be Blessed,
Maria

I am ready to receive all if the promises and blessings form the Lord. I am left most days with exhaustion from holding on so tightly to my chains from the past…I want only to be worn out from serving the Lord more fully. To do what He’s called me to do with my whole heart. I want His light to shine through me wherever I go; in all that I do. With this freedom from my bondages will come peace like I’ve never known.

In my natural mind, I always thought I needed to be tied down to these chains, strive every day to push down the Mary in me. My version of Martha has been guilt-driven. “ I need to do more of this, I need to be more like that/her.” In my world, I ‘ve always thought that Martha’s are more loved, more accepted-so I need to be more like them. I’ve always thought I am not a good mother unless I am constantly outwardly worrying about my kids. I am not a good wife if I’m not always outwardly commenting on all of the housework that has to get done-to prove to others that I care about it, after all, there are so many women I know that “get it all done.”
Why can’t I? There must be something wrong with me, that I want to take some time just for me; even though I work full-time—just for me…to prioritize my relationship with God.
Who has time for that? What would all of my Catholic family thin k of that? They would think, “She’s gone off the deep end….she actually believes she has a relationship with God. Who does she think she is?”

I will no longer be sucked in to this façade the enemy has created and wants it to be my reality-forever. He knows I am a Christian; and I have accepted Jesus. But he knows exactly with what and where to take captive my thoughts and direct them in the path he wants them to take. I will no longer allow him to take control.

God is in control, He has forgiven me and He loves me unconditionally. He wants me to be free—He wants me to love myself the way He loves me.

Maria and her family reside in NE Ohio. She and her husband are the parents of two. Their daughter is a person with hemipelegic cerebral palsy.Because of her experiences, Maria provides parent-to-parent support for families involved in her local early intervention program.

Her gift for writing has come directly from the Lord since her daughter’s diagnosis.She writes a monthly column entitled, “Special Parents, Special Kids” for the Mahoning Valley Parent magazine in Ohio; and has expanded into Parent magazines in parts of Pennsylvania and West Virginia. She is also a contributing author at www.mommiesmagazine.com.

Maria's first published work is in Jan Ross and Jeanice McDade's Women of Passion's anthology, "Ordinary Women Serving an Extraordinary God". The book is available for purchase by clicking on the book image on the right side of this blog.Maria is very passionate about getting the word out to special parents that they are not alone in their journey of raising their special child; and that they were chosen by God to parent their children. Maria welcomes comments and communication as well as invitations for her to speak to your group.

Dispensers of Grace

Maybe I'm getting older, wiser, or more mature (I can at least vouch at the older part) but lately when negative news comes my way, I no longer feel like wagging my finger in disgust and writing that person or situation off. It wasn't that long ago I was a champion of sending political forwards off in rapid fire that would insult a candidate I wasn't voting for.

The last few weeks I felt God preparing me for something I'm not even quite sure of. I know the following words and sermons have hammered me though: perseverence. covering. dispenser of grace.

I watched the Saddleback Forum with both presidential candidates and left impressed. Both men are intelligent and passionate. They are in the position they are because they care. You can bet they will carry perseverence through these next couple months. Passion too. I found Rick Warren's questions well done and extremely telling.

Senator McCain sounded authentic when he admitted his biggest moral failure was his first marriage. Senator Obama was forthright on his stand on abortion. He could've spun it til the cows came home, but he even acknowledged not everyone is going to agree with where he stands. He's right, I am not on the same page on that issue, and to me, life is the top of the pyramid. If you are passionate for life, my thinking is you will have wisdom to take care of the economy and foreign relations. That's my opinion.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed watching the interview and I felt the lines were clearly drawn on the issues and where voters will stand. Any hesitation I have is gone, I know where my vote is going come November. But the best thing of all is I truly want both men to prosper these next months and beyond. I wish neither humiliation, failure, or anything that is easy to get tripped up in during a presidential campaign. The Lord is molding me into what I see as a "dispenser of grace."

It's not just me, though. Over the weekend I read that Todd Bentley stepped down from the Lakeland outpouring and other ministry efforts. It appears that his marriage is in jeopardy from his own choices. I read interesting things from condemnation, sorrow, and everything in between.

For me, I hate when marriages are on shaky ground. I absolutely believe in having a covering and accountability for any ministry. I'm certainly not on the front row to anything in the limelight but I have a team that covers me and they have before I wrote one word for Him. Even with that covering I can't explain in words how hard I have felt attacked to quit, turn away or walk in the ways I used to travel. The very last thing I want to do is sneer at anyone going through such a public heartbreak.

Like Todd Bentley or not, people were radically healed. The glory from those healings go to Jesus Christ. And in my mind, the devil didn't want any part of that, so I'm grateful for all the people involved to date in the outpouring. I pray the healings continue---worldwide, right down to the Bentley family.

Wagging finger or dispenser of grace. Which would you like to be

Julie Arduini is a surrendered writer with her own blog, http://thesurrenderedscribe.blogspot.com/. A graduate of the Christian Writers Guild, she also blogs for the Christian Writers Forum Sundays as the mommy blogger. She is active with FaithWriters and has several writings ready to publish in different books and anthologies in 2008-09. One of the books will be a quote in Kathy Vick's Simon and Schuster/Howard's gift book, "Run Like a Girl."

You can also find Julie the third Thursday of each month over at Take Root and Write with her column, Finding Freedom through Surrender. She facilates a group by the same name at the sister social networking site, Christian Women Take Root.

To get to know her better, read her interview by Lynda Schab at:http://www.faithreaders.com/featured-author-details.php?id=33%20

To contact Julie, please use the e mail provided in our profile.

Re Visiting The Cable Guy

I'm still away from the computer so let's revisit one that still strikes a chord with me. Why? Because I'm not sure I've grown here too much since writing this one. My heart is to encourage others to surrender their fears yet here I am...still doubting the cable guy, God, and everything else.

How about you?

Do You Trust Him Now?