Turns out the more intercessors I meet with and talk to, the more this message comes up:
We're learning how insignificant significance is.
For those that want to learn more, I listened to a Lance Wallnau presentation on basic needs. It didn't take long for me to realize one of my needs is significance.
Thank the Lord He's set me free from what I call the Sally Field stronghold. You know it, the "You like me, you really like me" addiction. I know that life well, and I do not want to return to that captivity. I thought significance was conquered through that healing.
I'm catching up on previous Smallville seasons and my attitude mirrored what I saw in a Season 8 episode. It's a long story but one character had a chip implanted in her brain with a final purpose of controlling her. When she was set free, she vomited up a ball of junk, all the computer stuff that had a hold on her.
I feel like I'm coughing up balls of snark. God has done so much in and around me, and it's been big lately. Things I prayed for, stood in the gap over, are in the midst or done. It is amazing, and all Him. I should be jumping for joy.
Instead, I'm snarky. Fleshy. Woe is me. The last two years as I prayed, "stuff" happened. Rejection, criticism, confrontations, things from left field that with His help, I stood steady and kept praying. Now that the waves calmed down---
I want apologies. I want a pat on the shoulder. I want, I want, I want.
Significance.
I wish I had the answers, but the direction I sense to take is it's time to shed the old wineskin, old ways of doing things, old thoughts, old grudges, just get rid of it. I have to take these things to the cross and put on that new wineskin.
The wineskin that has a whole lot less of Julie and a whole lot more of Jesus.
Now THAT is significant.

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